The safety of observing from afar

first row of coaster


 

(Less than 2 minutes to read)

I met people in my life who were full of fear. Fear that keeps them far away, up on their mountain top, earthbound. They stayed up there, like a baby bird who never jumped, but walked around in the branches of the tree, growing into an adult, never trying to leave, never trying to risk itself. And I was no better, so my trying to help these people was pretty futile.

But I’ve left the mountaintop refugee finally. I stopped telling myself stories, and although I haven’t jumped to experience the total experience of being liberated, I’m taking small leaps, restraining myself, finding outcroppings to rest on.  I couldn’t stand the suffocating thin air of that flat-topped prison any longer, complaining about things, but not willing, or courageous enough, to change them.

It’s so helpful to surround yourself with the people doing things you want to, but aren’t. The strong influence of your friends on you is shown in scientific research. But the catch-22 is, you need to be self-aware enough to find these people, or allow them into your life.

One of the most heartbreaking things to see are those with so much potential, but so little  heart, unwilling to step up to the edge and look down to see what they’re missing. So they stay in their refugee, with enough air to survive, but not to thrive.

It’s a lesson to those of us who have decided to leave our nest on that mountaintop: The lesson of letting people go who aren’t ready for change.  The lesson of the futility of trying to pry open a person who has closed themselves off, like a clam. And finally a lesson that helps you face sadness: the sadness of seeing love wasted, missing from the world, from those who are too overwhelmed to open themselves up and share it.


Follow me and I will take you away from the everyday.

If this is something you care about, then SHARE it. Less observation. More participation.

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“I don’t feel comfortable doing that,” she replied.

“I won’t bite,” I said.

Some people are shy, so they hide themselves away. Not literally, by staying at home, or not socializing. Actually, many go out regularly, and some even want attention…but they can’t handle it. The exposure of their vulnerabilities is too much for them, a challenge that they’re not quite ready to face. Many of them are strong in other areas and passionate about things. But not the people right in front of them. Or maybe they’re too passionate about them?

“When was your last serious relationship?” I asked.
“About a year and half ago,” she replied.
“What happened?” I asked.
“I think that’s personal,” she said.

I thought nearly a half hour conversation with me would’ve made her more comfortable. There was a silence, then she said:
“I don’t know. I always end up with effeminate, sensitive ones.”
“You need a man,” I said without hesitation.
“Maybe I’m just sabotaging myself,” she replied, resignation in her voice. After a moment, she got up from the couch, and I watched her walk off.

We all probably know, not after too long, what we’re doing wrong. In our hearts we know this. The question is, do we have the courage to change?