The reassuring noise of the hive

chaos


(35 seconds to read)

Many inputs into my life. The mixture is becoming more rich in social media. As it does, it dilutes me, my being, my originality. My self still peeps…as I struggle to find it in the noise.

The pathways of my brain become a slippery erase board of values, based on what the collective thinks, and so my mind gets pulled towards the hive. It’s like a black hole, and I’m stretching now, pulled into strings of psyche that are unrecognizable from my true form.

It is a powerful force, based on the concentrated mass of humanity, a crushing and relentless gravity. Ironically it’s not mindful, as it spews thoughts, observations, accusations, churning like the waves of the ocean, it throws us up, spins us around, and sucks us down without direction.

And with our equilibrium shattered and compass gone,  we’re left wandering, thinking our focus is focused, but actually it’s the Generality we’ve reached, the Reactionary Equilibrium between loneliness and psychotic connection.

Because being plugged in doesn’t bring you closer to others or to reality, unless you believe it. And that’s what the internet is doing: Making you believe things, rather than think things.

Advertisements

Everyone needs to get tapped sometimes

bmw


(50 seconds to read)

I was parallel parking this morning and a woman was sitting in a new shiny BMW behind where I was parking. I got out and she beckoned me. I thought I had boxed her in.

“Did I box you in?” I asked. She had long black hair, and fine cheek bones, she was expressionless, eyes hidden behind her sunglasses. She answered me no, but as I moved off she said something else. I couldn’t hear, so I approached her. “What?” I asked.

“You tapped my car,” she said. My heart sank and my eyes grew wide. “Oh no,” I put my hands to my face. “Really?

“Yes,” but she was weirdly calm. “It’s fine,” she paused, then said, “We all need to get tapped sometimes.” I  nodded warily, and moved off, worried and uncomfortable.

I thought about it later, after settling into my chair in the cafe, opening my laptop to work. I thought how she was being petty, seeking attention, and I grew angry…Then I stopped and thought, She was seeking attention…from me. “Everyone needs to get tapped sometimes”?  She was hitting on me. And I had totally missed it.

I missed it because I was worried about myself. Giving others the attention and love they are seeking, and deserve, this requires confidence. Which is the opposite of fear. The fear that filled me when someone told me I had just bumped their spotless, current model BMW.

Oy.