Lightly child, lightly. Learn to do everything lightly.
Yes, feel lightly even though you’re feeling deeply.

Just lightly let things happen and lightly cope with them. So throw away your baggage and go forward.

There are quicksands all about you, sucking at your feet,
trying to suck you down into fear and self-pity and despair.

That’s why you must walk so lightly.

Credit: Aldous Huxley

The more I react to hysterics and haters, the more exhausted and bitter I become too.

The truest, longest lasting, most profound changes occur with you.

Not the institution.

Small changes lead to big things.

Trust yourself, your group, and what you see around you, rather than what the corporate or government institutions do for you.

What are you waiting for?
It’s all over.
There is no later to do those things
Scratching around in your skull
Start it.
Start it all.

FIRE IT UP.

The end is already here.

She was a picture of loveliness and also suffering. I could feel a quiet resignation behind her words. She seemed to be harboring a pain from something significant, sometime, somewhere. And it had dulled her into a sad acceptance of her existence.

My questions were deflected. Too soon, or maybe my manner was too rough? She had made herself vulnerable and been taken advantage of. It shone gently, in the earnest way she talked about her clients, and how she connected with them.

I told her she would be ok, whatever happened out there, she was ok with me. She nodded, listening, but not believing it. I wish I could have explained better, that I understood, and I was real. I would be her advocate in the cruel world. Because I’ve suffered, too, and still harbored that insecurity.

My mantra is for all of them:

Trust that what you feel in the moment is good enough.

Express it.

Let it lay.

Don’t hide. Don’t manipulate.

Accept the consequences of being you.

And dismiss those who dismiss you.

This week, I’ve been thinking about Patrick and Ian.  Friends who I’ve lost in the last few years. Friends who aren’t alive anymore. I miss them.

Their time was up, before their time. As soon as we’re born, the clock start ticking.

Some death sentences are short, some are long, but everyone is going to go.

Until then, what’s your priority? What have you been doing?

Priorities keep me from getting lost in all the…stuff.

Stuff today: online, offline, in my head.  And priorities minimize suffering, because they give me purpose.

But when priorities become anxieties, they cause suffering.

The simple way through this?

Prioritize love.  Giving it…in what you make, in who you meet, in…everything.

Until the end, that is the purpose.

Victimhood is easier to accept than being a winner.

Because victimhood doesn’t require effort.

Victimhood is the mindset which believes that success is improbable and failure is my fate.

So why try? Just sit back. Wait for others to help you.

The paradox…creating victims doesn’t empower.

It makes children out of men.

It’s not about being happy.

It’s about finding importance in your unhappy times.

My unhappy times are when I failed…Well, not so much failures, but situations I shouldn’t haven’t been in.

Like when I dropped out of medical school

Or when I got dumped.

Or when I did the dumping because I wasn’t able to make someone happy.

And when I asked why, I started the lessons. I began to learn. I learned about myself: How I was a people-pleaser…to my parents, my partners, or my team.

I was a perfectionist, I wanted everything just right, and I applied that perfectionist pressure on others, all the while wanting to please. It was a confusing time, and it comes back to bite me for sure.

But now I know myself. And I know people.

So I can compensate for my tendencies, and for the tendencies of others. Now I have a map, so I can navigate what I want, through what others want.

And that genuine, clearly defined map of YOU, it makes all the difference.

Strength is more than pushing something forward.

It’s also about backing out.

Walking away

From a friend, partner, job, whatever.

Sometimes it’s about leaving that familiar place where you’ve acclimated to the hurt

To the lower state of being.

And made yourself powerless.

Whenever I see someone throw a cigarette out their window, I want to chase them down and make a citizen’s arrest.
Of course I don’t.
I think, Eh fuck it. I’ll be dead soon.
The children can worry about the environment when they grow up.
But they’ll be living on a space station anyway, in a pod, plugged into a nice clean virtual reality matrix, fed intravenously by a nutrient broth, so…
they’ll have that going for them.
Which sounds pretty nice.