Month: April 2018

She was a picture of loveliness and also suffering. I could feel a quiet resignation behind her words. She seemed to be harboring a pain from something significant, sometime, somewhere. And it had dulled her into a sad acceptance of her existence.

My questions were deflected. Too soon, or maybe my manner was too rough? She had made herself vulnerable and been taken advantage of. It shone gently, in the earnest way she talked about her clients, and how she connected with them.

I told her she would be ok, whatever happened out there, she was ok with me. She nodded, listening, but not believing it. I wish I could have explained better, that I understood, and I was real. I would be her advocate in the cruel world. Because I’ve suffered, too, and still harbored that insecurity.

My mantra is for all of them:

Trust that what you feel in the moment is good enough.

Express it.

Let it lay.

Don’t hide. Don’t manipulate.

Accept the consequences of being you.

And dismiss those who dismiss you.

This week, I’ve been thinking about Patrick and Ian.  Friends who I’ve lost in the last few years. Friends who aren’t alive anymore. I miss them.

Their time was up, before their time. As soon as we’re born, the clock start ticking.

Some death sentences are short, some are long, but everyone is going to go.

Until then, what’s your priority? What have you been doing?

Priorities keep me from getting lost in all the…stuff.

Stuff today: online, offline, in my head.  And priorities minimize suffering, because they give me purpose.

But when priorities become anxieties, they cause suffering.

The simple way through this?

Prioritize love.  Giving it…in what you make, in who you meet, in…everything.

Until the end, that is the purpose.

 

Victimhood is easier to accept than being a winner.

Because victimhood doesn’t require effort.

Victimhood is the mindset which believes that success is improbable and failure is my fate.

So why try? Just sit back. Wait for others to help you.

The paradox…creating victims doesn’t empower.

It makes children out of men.

It’s not about being happy.

It’s about finding importance in your unhappy times.

My unhappy times are when I failed…Well, not so much failures, but situations I shouldn’t haven’t been in.

Like when I dropped out of medical school

Or when I got dumped.

Or when I did the dumping because I wasn’t able to make someone happy.

And when I asked why, I started the lessons. I began to learn. I learned about myself: How I was a people-pleaser…to my parents, my partners, or my team.

I was a perfectionist, I wanted everything just right, and I applied that perfectionist pressure on others, all the while wanting to please. It was a confusing time, and it comes back to bite me for sure.

But now I know myself. And I know people.

So I can compensate for my tendencies, and for the tendencies of others. Now I have a map, so I can navigate what I want, through what others want.

And that genuine, clearly defined map of YOU, it makes all the difference.

Strength is more than pushing something forward.

It’s also about backing out.

Walking away

From a friend, partner, job, whatever.

Sometimes it’s about leaving that familiar place where you’ve acclimated to the hurt

Where you’ve acclimated to a lower state of being.

And made yourself powerless.

Whenever I see someone throw a cigarette out their window, I want to chase them down and make a citizen’s arrest.
Of course I don’t.
I think, Eh fuck it. I’ll be dead soon.
The children can worry about the environment when they grow up.
But they’ll be living on a space station anyway, in a pod, plugged into a nice clean virtual reality matrix, fed intravenously by a nutrient broth, so…
they’ll have that going for them.
Which sounds pretty nice.

The two polar fundamental principles of life:
What can I get, vs what can I give?
Lean towards one, and it defines everything I do.

Give high value stuff, and you get back high value stuff.
But give complaints and you get other losers who like complaining too.

Be #highvalue

It’s time the authorities stepped in to do something.

People are discriminating against cats.

And it needs to stop.

The statistics are plain as day: Dog ownership outpaces cat ownership 3 to 1.

(And in some places, like southeast Asia, the gap is even greater due to culinary practices)

Nevertheless, this gap must be addressed.

First and foremost, our preferences for dogs or cats are subordinate to their equal rights.

Dogs and cats are the same. They’re pets.

So, why are people choosing to own dogs over cats?

Because dogs are more energetic and focused?

Cats are too! Just in different ways. Say, if there’s a string, or a small insect nearby.

It’s time humans appreciate this aspect of cats.

Another misconception about how dogs are better: That they are more trainable and  more committed to help.

This is not something you should judge when choosing a pet. Why? Because why are you using your values and needs when we should be treating these pets EQUALLY.

Dogs and cats are not only equal, they’re the same. They’re pets. Just like when you hire someone for a job. Yes, there are small differences, in skills, commitment, or availability.  But they’re all human, aren’t they? We are all living things. And we should all be treated equally.

Stop being selfish about what YOU need, and start thinking of the less fortunate.

The sooner government gets involved to provide more opportunity for cats and to equalize our choices, the better.

Complaining is about Me, me, me

It’s not about caring
For anyone
Other than myself.

Seduction is a dance, an ancient dance, a timeless dance, a dancing in the moment. That’s what it is.

Men and women dancing together as they always have, entangled for all time in joy and heartbreak and ecstasy and hope.

It is a dance of clarity, of honest communication and the intricacies of sub–communication.

It transcends age, race, everything.
It is intuition as an art form.
It is ease and delight.
It is curiosity.
It is gratitude.
It is a welcomed hint of danger.
It is unrepentant, direct, overt, audacious.
It is subtle and elegant.
It is joyous, charged, electric, rushing, magnetic, subdued, restrained, intimate, respectful.
It is the love of man for woman, the love of woman for man, the love of ourselves, and a love of life.
It is the culmination of all things good: the masculine, feminine, the divine, everything coalesced, abundant, and in perfect form.

Yes, seduction is a dance, a luscious, effusive, sensual, sexual, never ceasing, sacred dance.

Excerpt from: The Alabaster Girl