Quid pro quo a go go

Selfishness is shunned and selflessness is seen as virtue.

But virtue is being high value in order to contribute high value.

Because without building yourself, how do you produce anything valuable?


I’ll teach you how to do it properly, she said.


I was laying back in her chair, feeling exposed. She was one of the few who was serious about this, like a technician.
I felt a little offended when they assumed I didn’t know how to do it properly.  I’m a grown man.  I’ve been around the block.
Ok, you’ve got to go all the way down, she directed.
Yes, yes
See how I’m doing it? Her hands were busy, You’ve got go down on both sides.
I couldn’t see anything, but I could feel it.
Then I felt a warmth gush into my mouth.
You’ve got some inflammation in there.
Do you floss every day?
Sometimes, I said. There was no lying. The evidence was in the metallic taste in my mouth.
After my visit, I went home and vowed to be a flossing champion. Twice a day even!
A week later I realized, I hadn’t flossed at all.
The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
And on this road, a future lesson from my dental professional.

Happy Birthday, America

There are two types of people: Authoritarians,
And happy people.

Those who seek satisfaction from others,
And those who find happiness in their own lives and what they create and contribute.

Fortunately, this country was founded to value what you create as an individual and contribute to others.

Happy Birthday, America. With all your corruption, you still provide us a society that immigrants from all over the world flock to join.

We’re all the same

Just because I don’t put as high a priority on an issue as you do doesn’t mean I’m stupid or that I don’t care.

And it doesn’t mean that I’m immoral.  This judgment on morality usually came from  religious ideologues… Christian priests or Muslim clerics. But today, religious-level conviction has seeped into non-religious political issues.  Best leave that righteous indignation in the church and mosques.  After all, they have an all-powerful God backing them up.

So no, I’m not immoral. You’re not moral. Or vice versa. We simply don’t agree.

And that’s ok. Because that’s were a discussion starts. One that must be had. It leads to an even better perspective, broadening each of our beliefs, where we start seeing context and a fine tuning of beliefs before they are applied to complicated realities.

A better perspective that indicates that, really, we’re all the same.

It’s dark because you are trying too hard. 

Lightly child, lightly. Learn to do everything lightly.
Yes, feel lightly even though you’re feeling deeply.

Just lightly let things happen and lightly cope with them. So throw away your baggage and go forward.

There are quicksands all about you, sucking at your feet,
trying to suck you down into fear and self-pity and despair.

That’s why you must walk so lightly.

Credit: Aldous Huxley


Apple disguise

She was a picture of loveliness and also suffering. I could feel a quiet resignation behind her words. She seemed to be harboring a pain from something significant, sometime, somewhere. And it had dulled her into a sad acceptance of her existence.

My questions were deflected. Too soon, or maybe my manner was too rough? She had made herself vulnerable and been taken advantage of. It shone gently, in the earnest way she talked about her clients, and how she connected with them.

I told her she would be ok, whatever happened out there, she was ok with me. She nodded, listening, but not believing it. I wish I could have explained better, that I understood, and I was real. I would be her advocate in the cruel world. Because I’ve suffered, too, and still harbored that insecurity.

My mantra is for all of them:

Trust that what you feel in the moment is good enough.

Express it.

Let it lay.

Don’t hide. Don’t manipulate.

Accept the consequences of being you.

And dismiss those who dismiss you.

Why so serious?


This week, I’ve been thinking about Patrick and Ian.  Friends who I’ve lost in the last few years. Friends who aren’t alive anymore. I miss them.

Their time was up, before their time. As soon as we’re born, the clock start ticking.

Some death sentences are short, some are long, but everyone is going to go.

Until then, what’s your priority? What have you been doing?

Priorities keep me from getting lost in all the…stuff.

Stuff today: online, offline, in my head.  And priorities minimize suffering, because they give me purpose.

But when priorities become anxieties, they cause suffering.

The simple way through this?

Prioritize love.  Giving it…in what you make, in who you meet, in…everything.

Until the end, that is the purpose.