Why I don’t swallow unicorn poo


It’s not about being happy.

It’s about finding importance in your unhappy times.

When I get down, it’s time to figure out why. That’s the only way to get better. But when I get better, it’s not the end. There’s always better than that better.

Realize there will never be a happy life. It’s not about being happy.

It’s about finding significance in everything. This is a life of gratitude. And gratitude in the land of privilege is a hard thing to generate.



“Can I borrow your board?” I asked. “For just one lap?”

The older man in the lane beside had left his board unused by the edge of the pool.

He thought a minute. “Leave it down at the other end after you’re done. I’ll pick it up after I do my next laps.”

I thanked him and finished my swim. Leaving later after my sauna, I saw him huffing his last lap.

“You look like you’re doing good,” I said.

He gave a tired half-smile, “I can’t swim, but I can exercise. That’s why I do this.”

“It’s just a matter of putting in the time,” I said.

He told me about his playing handball. I told him I’d never played, but I had done racket ball.

“I can’t raise my right arm, shoulder got hurt from all the playing. Now I’m learning how to play with my left. And doing this swimming for the exercise.”

“Funny,” I said, “I’m starting to feel old. Just today I was stretching and hurt myself a little just from that!…before I’d even done any of my workout.”

He gave me a look. “How old are you?”

“Forty,” I said.

He shook his head, “I was born in 1939.”



It’s not a new year’s resolution


Attitude is the most important choice any of us will make. We made it yesterday and we get another choice to make it today. And then again tomorrow.

The choice to participate.

To be optimistic.

To intentionally bring out the best in other people.

We make the choice to inquire, to be curious, to challenge the status quo.

To give people the benefit of the doubt.

To find hope instead of fear in the face of uncertainty.

Of course these are attitudes. What else could they be?

And of course, they are a choice. No one does these things to us. We choose them and do the work (and find the benefits) that come with them”

It’s not your new year’s resolution. It’s your attitude.

Reference and Acknowledgment to Seth Godin.

Would you rather get flattery or gifts?

Doing favors for others guilts them into reciprocating. It’s hardwired, or maybe it’s learned, but regardless, it’s behavioral science.

It leads me to think about my partners’ gifts to me, because their flattery is hard to recall.

One partner left a meaningful book, The Unbearable Lightness of Being.

Another left a tiny, gold-plated picture frame with three words simply scrawled in pen on white paper: “I love you”

Another, a heartfelt note.

Another, a battery-powered, vibrating cock-ring…admittedly, that was mutually-beneficial.

The point being…does the sentimental value of the gift matter if you don’t have any memorable compliments?

Which holds more significance?

Why you have a role-model…even if you don’t


(30 seconds to read)

As a representative for the transgender community. Bruce Jenner emerged as ‘Woman of the Year’, from the dysfunctional Kardashian family reality TV series.

As a representative for the disadvantaged black person trying to be successful, Michael Brown becomes a martyr, his parents brought up on stage by Hillary at her campaign rally after their son is  killed by law enforcement when he robbed a store and assaulted a police officer.

And as a representative of the patriotic, working class American, Donald Trump is elected: a mega-businessman who gets into twitter fights with people who challenge him, who observes that a female reporter’s criticisms of him are because of her period, who believes climate change is a hoax perpetuated by China.

Welcome to 2016 America.

Who is your role-model? Choose. Or society will choose for you.

They’re all my trees. They’re all your trees.


“When you go out into the woods and you look at trees, you see all these different trees. And some of them are bent, and some of them are straight, and some of them are evergreens, and some of them are whatever.

And you look at the tree and you allow it. You see why it is the way it is. You sort of understand that it didn’t get enough light, and so it turned that way. And you don’t get all emotional about it. You just allow it. You appreciate the tree.

The minute you get near humans, you lose all that. And you are constantly saying, ‘You’re too this, or I’m too this.’ That judging mind comes in. And so I practice turning people into trees. Which means appreciating them just the way they are.”

They’re all my trees.
They’re all your trees.

A year from now…


The days slip by
They never return you know

But you don’t.

Or else why live in delay,

Anticipating the better time?

Why live looking back

In regret

Outside of time
And not in the actual?

Because a year from now, you will wish you would have started today.