You should give me your number



“I don’t feel comfortable doing that,” she replied.

“I won’t bite,” I said.

Some people are shy, so they hide themselves away. Not literally, by staying at home, or not socializing. Actually, many go out regularly, and some even want attention…but they can’t handle it. The exposure of their vulnerabilities is too much for them, a challenge that they’re not quite ready to face. Many of them are strong in other areas and passionate about things. But not the people right in front of them. Or maybe they’re too passionate about them?

“When was your last serious relationship?” I asked.
“About a year and half ago,” she replied.
“What happened?” I asked.
“I think that’s personal,” she said.

I thought nearly a half hour conversation with me would’ve made her more comfortable. There was a silence, then she said:
“I don’t know. I always end up with effeminate, sensitive ones.”
“You need a man,” I said without hesitation.
“Maybe I’m just sabotaging myself,” she replied, resignation in her voice. After a moment, she got up from the couch, and I watched her walk off.

We all probably know, not after too long, what we’re doing wrong. In our hearts we know this. The question is, do we have the courage to change?

Time to stop shaming the slutty police-woman. And nun. And nurse. And…


We saw them begin to invade the Halloween party not too many years ago. They marched in with the liberalizing of our fashion culture. Around the time when skin-tight leggings began to be accepted as normal going out attire for the female population. And the females responded, just waiting to unleash their racy, sexual cheekiness (pun intended).


So we watched in awe, wondering how such small patches of costume could constitute a uniform for a police office, or nurse, or even for anyone regardless of their trade who is leaving the house, unless they’re going to a fashion show. Or porn shoot.

I judged it for what it was: a superficial fad. I appreciated seeing the beautiful female form, of course. But seeing it handed down from the fashion authorities, willingly followed by the female population was amusing.

But after so many years, I think it’s time to re-characterize this as more than a fad. And something to be welcomed.

These slutty fire-fighters (who really need to be wearing more protection) they are a lesson…a lesson in letting people be, and being happy with yourself. Because ladies, if you’re hating on the fitness of that ample-bosomed police-woman with the aviators, then you may be hating on yourself. Because what is she doing to you? Nothing.

And what if the hate may be based on what she’s doing for the female image? The objectification, you may think.

I say, Nay.

She is in fact doing the contrary. She is liberated with her body and her sexuality. So she is a lesson, an inspiration to you. She is a sister in arms. And legs. And lovely mouth. And all the rest.

Could these costumes be more original, and more fabric-based? Of course.

Maybe try going for She-ra next time.


Or Wonder Woman.

wonder woman

Or Kim Kardashian?

Kim Kardashian

In the end, Halloween is like Mardi Gras…it’s a masquerade party…where you go out to have fun. And being sexual is part of that.

So send the hate home, and bring your good vibes… and prophylactics.

When I realized that a love is not enough.

naked embrace

Life is frighteningly meaningless unless you can find meaning in it.

Sometimes finding someone who will love you is enough.

Sometimes you’ll need something more. Something internal, something that comes from inside you, which you create for everyone. And this creation extends that love from one partner, from one family, to the love from many.

Because not only must we do something of value, but we must be valued by others.  And that value grows in benefiting a partner, a family, and ultimately, in benefiting your community and humanity.

What’s your true love?