In the future, scholars will study and hypothesize the downfall of the United States.

Was it stretching themselves too thin, in military endeavors around the world? Or was it the Federal Reserve, which encouraged careless spending and unstable growth in our market?

It may be many causes, but at root they will find two main culprits…

Cheese and corn syrup.

It was them that dulled minds and bodies. With bellies fed, the fire was quenched, and others who were more hungry would take over the world.