(35 seconds to read)
“Those jeans fit you almost perfectly,” I told her.
She looked at me and said nothing, but turned back around to wait in line for the cashier. I stood behind her awkwardly, then asked brightly, “How are you doing?”
“Fine,” she murmured without turning around.
Well, ok then, I thought to myself, I can’t do anything else. So I stood in line behind her and waited for the cashier.
It can be embarrassing putting your heart out there. But it’s not about how you’re going to be perceived or accepted or respected. It’s about being true and doing good. And those two things together are never wrong. It’s about her, too, and her feelings. And him as well, because everyone deserves to be complimented if you think they are deserving of one.
It’s a cascade that starts with your initiation and then moves to their feelings: Just be genuine and go from there, because whatever happens is ok if you’re putting positive vibes out there.
One thought on “I was radically honest, and she ignored me”
White lies are better than honesty with fragile female egos. Carefully chosen words of constructive criticism or advice can come after you’ve established a relationship. One little word “almost” turns a compliment into an insult. Better to either tell a white lie that the jeans fit perfectly, reword your compliment and say something like you look really nice in those jeans (now if you said “pretty nice”that’s just as bad as killing your compliment with “almost”) or to say nothing at all.