Another lost friend to absorb

Occupy the Present

I had two friends pass away recently, in such a short period of time. I’ve never lost anyone in my life who I’ve had much interactions or connection to. Even the family members I’ve lost have been disconnected from me. So it’s a strange feeling these past few weeks. A feeling of emptiness, the same that I saw in a friend’s family who lost one of their own, but this time the space missing is in me.

Time is a commodity, but our most precious one, because after we expire, we know of nothing that comes after, except for what our faith and hopes tell us. The end of our time is the end of the world. When I think about the rest of the time I have lost with my friends, I get a true sense of the emptiness.

Our expiration date is a permanent time stamp of the end. My friends’ deaths make me think about my time more carefully. I not only want to do more, to produce something positive for my world, but at the same time, to forget about changing or impacting anything, and instead just living day to day, being present in everything that I do. The pleasure of walking, feeling the ground sending my force back up through my torso, the simple sensation of water against my face, the feel of a steering wheel in my hands.

I stop to look at the sunrises now, more than ever. I enjoy holding someone in a hug, instead of waiting to pull away, I give a smile just because, and I go someplace without a rush. When I get agitated, I stop and am grateful that I can feel this way and let that feeling linger without becoming embroiled in it.

Because that’s the point of death. So that we can appreciate life. The paradox…to fully enjoy life, we must accept the fact that it is going to end. And all our petty anxieties are just that. It’s time to enjoy life…not postpone it for a later that never comes.

The time is now to be responsible for what we’re choosing. Nothing is permanent, so the important thing is to choose SOMETHING. You can change your mind later. But do not wait on circumstance or the bridge to death to make that decision for us.

There is not much to life, its purpose is not complicated, however much we complicate it with our drives and desires. Life is all about being happy, and accepting the sad parts, too. And at the end of the day, it’s about feeling valuable, and doing something of value. And my friends were valuable to me.

You will be missed, guys.
I hope that you lived a life without regret. I will remember your lives by living mine fully present, and trying to contribute to make others’ lives better.

Advertisements

How to fix most all relationship problems

If I can’t live in the present, then I can’t love. Love is NOW. Living in a future of wants prevents me from sustaining love for anything, or anyone. And expecting love from someone who looks ahead, dissatisfied with himself or herself, is a losing proposition. And sure to make you unhappy in the process.

Get unstuck, get unplugged, and take a swing

Using the internet can get to be like drinking from a fire hose. You’re attentive, reading, laughing, posting, messaging. But soon the web becomes a tangle of sticky strands. The internet is always open, holding many, many, many bits of data. Empty calories at an all you can eat buffet, leaving us hungry. Opinions are amplified and in your face. After a time, you shrug off the sarcasm and insults. Soon, the rest become blurred, too.

Billions of people defined by their pictures, their forwarding, their quoting, their lecturing. There’s a megaphone for everyone, like a crowded bar you’re tired of shouting in. The people are friendly enough, reliable little nodes for information, streaming you everything from everywhere, so you stop digging in, because it all looks good, and you just don’t have the time. So you graze, taking just a taste, and move on. Like walking down a busy Manhattan street with the honking horns, the engines rumbling. You get jostled, so you stop seeing people, instead looking at the fringes to carve out where to walk as you glance into the shop windows. But you don’t try anything on. You just observe as you go by. Surrounded and alone.

But we can unplug whenever we want. And you know that. So you do. And you walk out that door.
Look there.
A person.
Smile.
You get a smile back.

And then you remember.
You remember what it’s all about.
So, reach out.
Step up and take a swing.
Why not? Hear the clock? Tick-tock. It’s going to stop sooner than you think.