He warned me long ago, before my addiction.

things that dont matter

And so did Seth.  Men of science and analytics, who cared about me.  But I was helpless in the end, and became addicted.

Barry warned me long ago. But I didn’t listen.  Especially for those of us who are curious.

I became addicted to choices.  They threaten me every day.  They prevent me from making decisions.  And I wasted my life.  For a time.

What should I be, what should I do, what should I make?

Should I make beer or wine, what kind?.. or should I go on a hike? or rock climb? Or maybe I should bike? Or should I read? Which book?…I have stacks waiting for me.  So many podcasts…Should I listen to Joe Rogan, or Dave Rubin, or Aubrey Marcus, or Gary Vaynerchuk, or Brian Koppelman, or Tim Ferriss, or Tom Woods, or Adam Corolla, or Rhonda Patrick, or Dan Carlin, or Race Wars, or Duncan Trussell….?

Should I shop at rei or target? Or the thrift store. Amazon or WalMart?  I should write. How much? How long?  I should meet my friends though. Which place?.. so many options. I should meet with those potential clients, and get that marketing started. But which person should I focus on?  Need a new car, need to do my research, so much data to review, I’ll go online, then locally, visit, test drive, compare/contrast….

I’ve succeeded in so many choices. But not so many decisions.

Choices versus decisions.

Sweat the choices, the small things, that don’t impact your existence and meaning, and there’s no time for anything else. The decision-making times- what job, where to work, whether to quit – they get delayed, sometimes indefinitely.  Not a good time, I’ve got these choices I need to make. Or think I do.

And then it becomes too late, because now there’s stuff that must be paid for: car, or house, or vacation, or kids. I’ve got to be responsible. I’ve got to pay those bills.  And small compromises that were for only for the weekend or the summer, or “just until next year”, become life compromises.

And that’s the worst feeling in the world.

Regret.

But the next worst is Sad Acceptance.

Neither feeling dominates my life any more.  Because I told myself, whatever you do, make it your priority.  And ensure it’s my priority, not one pushed onto me by others.

Then put everything into it.  Be the best you can be at it, and then try to be better. Go beyond it. And if that job, role, task, that friend, that relationship, that place doesn’t serve you anymore, find out why.  And if you gotta move on, then move on, because there’e too much out there to dwell in a place that you cannot appreciate, especially if it doesn’t appreciate you.

And this has made life more difficult for me. But also joyous.  And real, and… well, life-like.

Succeed at making more decisions, not more choices.

 

 

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