Patrick and I aren’t friends anymore

I remember I met Patrick at the Ravari Room. I would go there most every Wednesday, to watch Tony and his jazz trio bang out tunes. After that night, I ended up hanging out with Patrick regularly, but ironically, it was only after he stopped returning my phone calls that I realized who he was. He was a teacher who taught me how to truly value people.

It’s not just what people do for you, but why they do it that makes them your friend

I was lost when I met Patrick. I needed to accept myself and construct my own value system for life. I was selfish and I would use people without appreciating what they had done for me. And I survived off of their attention. Little did I know that Patrick was the teacher that I needed, if only I had been ready to change.

One day I told Patrick that I had given some money to a friend at work who was in need, but I hadn’t realized that I was close to not being able to make my bills for the month. I didn’t want anything from him, I hadn’t even thought about it, but Patrick promptly said, “Let me know, I can help you out if you need it.”

When Patrick’s friend Chris moved into his house, Patrick said it was a little aggravating to always see him at home. I said, “But it’s nice to have that help with the house payment.” Patrick replied, “He’s not giving me anything. Not yet.”

Patrick moves to the ghetto and gets robbed

Within 6 months of moving into a low-income neighborhood, Patrick’s bike was stolen out of his garage and then his HDTV from his living room. Both were stolen because he had not locked his place. It may be naive, but the pureness of his attitude is inspiring because it assures me that he wasn’t a person that needed other people’s sacrifice or trust. He had a confidence in humanity.

It may seem that he sacrificed something, but what did he really lose? Things. Things which he certainly valued, but didn’t derive happiness from. And just as important, what did he retain? His courage, which serves as an example to others.

Patrick didnt compromise his values for money. He treated me like an adult. He helped me when he saw I really needed it, offered money, connected me to his company to apply for a job, among numerous favors.

After a couple of years, I guess he decided he had given me enough chances to develop confidence in myself and become self-sustaining. I regret that my change in attitude did not come sooner, but I’ll always remember his simple, honest, positive approach to life. I hope to live by the example he unconsciously set for me and everyone in his life.

Patrick knew everyone should be given a chance, because humanity is lost if we don’t try to provide an environment that promotes encouragement, trust, and love.

I’m glad he took some time to trust in me.

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3 thoughts on “Patrick and I aren’t friends anymore

  1. So what happened? Did you grow apart? Have an all out fight? I can relate to the analogy of leaving the house unlocked vs. leaving yourself unlocked. I.e.- you cannot gain without first opening yourself up to unexpected possibilities. Your well written post, an apology perhaps? I always believe fate has a funny way of giving us life long friends, and purpose friends. It is never easy letting a purpose friend go, after fate has seen you have served your purpose to one another, and growth can no longer continue. The bitter sweet is the rare few whom can instinctively know when the time has come and truly grasp the purpose you had to one another. Take that lesson and carry it with you in your pocket, along with the others that cross your path. They are cherished keepsakes of a life well lived.

  2. Thanks, Nicole.
    Paula, I don’t know why he stopped returning my calls. Maybe he saw I was ‘robbing’ him…taking without showing appreciation. Or maybe he became too busy. And some friends are free spirits, they ultimately move on after their face-to-face time with you. That’s life. I’m happy to have met him because he was a teacher- one that you didn’t know was teaching you- the best kind.

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