She was a picture of loveliness and also suffering. I could feel a quiet resignation behind her words. She seemed to be harboring a pain from something significant, sometime, somewhere. And it had dulled her into a sad acceptance of her existence.
My questions were deflected. Too soon, or maybe my manner was too rough? She had made herself vulnerable and been taken advantage of. It shone gently, in the earnest way she talked about her clients, and how she connected with them.
I told her she would be ok, whatever happened out there, she was ok with me. She nodded, listening, but not believing it. I wish I could have explained better, that I understood, and I was real. I would be her advocate in the cruel world. Because I’ve suffered, too, and still harbored that insecurity.
My mantra is for all of them:
Trust that what you feel in the moment is good enough.
Let it lay.
Don’t hide. Don’t manipulate.
Accept the consequences of being you.
And dismiss those who dismiss you.